Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Satire on the anniversary of Parihaka

Wellington Police are becoming concerned by reports of a number of land thefts occurring around the Upper and Lower North Island and South Island over the last one and a half centuries.

Most victims have been Maori. Perpetrators are an organised group of mostly Caucasian criminals. In recent years a faction of the gang under the control of gang boss ‘Helen’ Clark has moved its attention to the seabed and foreshore and water. The suspects have international links with a criminal association known as “The British Government”, allegedly connected with the theft of English, Scottish, Irish, African, American, Indian and other lands over a lengthy period.

Gang associates frequent areas around Lambton Quay and Thorndon. Patched members of the gang have a headquarters on Victoria Street. Some suspects are known to, and are, the police.

Investigations are continuing and police hope to make arrests shortly. In the meantime, those owning land should take sensible precautions and keep it out of sight when people of European ethnicity are around.

Igor Blimey
Very Well Organised Crime Unit
Wellington Police Station

(Facts, grammar and spelling corrected by Sam Buchanan)

Lifted from Aotearoa Indymedia.

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